It has been hot here in Europe the entire time, coating me in sweat constantly. But I find I do not mind it much; I drink a log of water and perhaps Tucson has inured me, since they experience much fiercer temperatures there. My friend Alex (from Zurich, incidentally) is here visiting me for the weekend. He told me about the heat you went through up there!
This time away from the world has been to worthwhile to describe. Yes, I think everyone should do it. It was good I did not bring my computer or much else, like science fiction books. And also good that I am not spending too much time on touristy things. Just a whole lot of time and only my skull to fill it. That has created a propitious atmosphere for all the realizations sent by mail. The mental progress, charted against the rate of such realizations in my past, equals about four years worth of time. Ordinary living makes it very hard to step apart, without filling that space with amusements or people.
I had always felt, before now, that boredom represented a high wall; and that if I could wait long enough to climb that wall, I would find something fascinating on the other side. In ordinary life, it was too high; I could never muster the patience to scale it when there were always more interesting things to do.
But here I have climbed it, and sit on the other side. I understand the wall, my reticence to climb it, and this fascination. It took all this time (8 weeks) to do it: to let the boredom seep in, rather than run from it. To sit and watch the people and admire the sky. It has a way of working on the brain that can’t be described.
Now I am bored in a very different way. It is no longer ennui – wanting to really want things – but knowing what I want to do and burning to do it. I cannot sleep from my desire to get back home and write computer programs. I am programming in my head, with several new ideas. Life seems so rich and… possible. Funny how impoverishing myself – by spending a fair amount of money and time on this trip – has resulted in such a large return-on-investment. I’d say even my pocketbook will come out the better for it in the long run.