My thanks
Sun, 19 Dec 2004 Filed in:
Journal
What if I had never been born? What if
I had never known what love felt like? To my Creator, I can only
offers thanks from the bottom of my heart. How much sorrow there
has been, year after year. But now I know, from that pain, what
beauty it is for love to exist. He made my heart into a sensitive
organ, until now I can see in the moment of an “I love you”, a
deeper reality that leaves me stunned in awe. If only I could give
up my soul for everyone to know what I refer to, I would still not
be short-changed, because for those moments I did know it. That
alone is my real life. I am beyond death now, of a sort, because I
live in knowing that love is there to be found. My thanks to the
girls and the friends who pushed me over the edge, and taught me
that on the other side of madness lies something divine. To every
woman I have ever ached for: You brought me face to face with a God
I could understand. You were all my teachers. Even if in my heart I
have learned of other ways, still you introduced me to love. Now I
can summarize my philosophy of life: Whenever you love, you are God
— just as a mirror becomes the sun when it gazes at the sky. The
seeing and the being are one. You cannot see without love, but when
you do, you become what you see in that vision of things. This is
reunion, in its dynamic form. If you regard others as a parent sees
his best loved child, you will taste of Fatherhood in that
moment.